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Post by fidelia on May 30, 2016 7:40:15 GMT
[attr=class,tonight] [attr=class,imlost] [attr=class,wecare] never coming back [attr=class,mightregret] [attr=class,mightregret1] [attr=class,mightregret2] [attr=class,weshare]the apartment isn’t great. actually, it’s kind of shitty; the roof leaks sometimes, and the walls are thin and moldy in places, and it switches seemingly instantaneously between a sweltering oven and a meat locker depending on the season. it’s just one more cheap, tiny place crammed together with all the others in this part of town, becuase it’s what they can afford, but anna doesn’t mind. it has one definite advantage over the equally shitty apartments up, down, and to either side, and even over the nice ones on other streets in other parts of baltimore: ezra is here. the key turns in the lock, loud because it’s a little rusty, and anna pushes the door open. she heaves a sigh, taking her coat off a bit clumsily and hanging it up before collapsing into one of the kitchen chairs. her fingers have a stranglehold on the manila folder that she’s carried with her the seven blocks from the recruiting station back to here; her fingers have left creases in the folder, but when she carefully cracks it open to look down at the papers inside, they’re still flawless and neat, lines and lines of carefully-typed text only marred by the red block letters across the top that read APPROVED. she sighs, closing the folder again and shoving it across the table, as far from her as she can get it. the recruiter had told her she would leave in a little more than a week, to start training and then, later, to ship out to europe, or to the pacific, or who-knows-where. which means she has only a little more than a week to tell ezra where she’s going and what she’s going to do, and somehow she doesn’t think he’ll take the news with a smile. °r [newclass=.tonight]height: 400px; width: 300px; overflow: hidden; margin-top: 15px; colour: #252525; position: relative; font-family: 'Arial', sans-serif;[/newclass][newclass=.imlost]height: 400px; width: 300px; background-image: url('http://i.imgur.com/ivtMsiY.png');[/newclass][newclass=.wecare]height: 200px; width: 275px; border: 2px solid #fcfcfc; padding-top: 173px; font-weight: 800; font-family: 'Raleway', sans-serif; text-align: center; font-size: 26px; line-height: 110%; color: #d9d9d9; margin-top: 12px; position: absolute; margin-left: 10px;[/newclass][newclass=.mightregret]position: absolute; height: 410px; width: 280px; border-right: 20px solid #C1DADC; background-color: #fcfcfc; opacity: 0.6; margin-left: -300px; margin-top: -430px; transition: all ease 0.2s; transition-delay: 0.9s;[/newclass][newclass=.mightregret1]height: 410px; position: absolute; width: 280px; border-right: 20px solid #44677c; background-color: #fcfcfc; opacity: 0.7; margin-left: -300px; margin-top: -430px; transition: all ease 0.2s; transition-delay: 0.6s;[/newclass][newclass=.mightregret2]position: absolute; height: 410px; width: 280px; border-right: 20px solid #005183; background-color: #fcfcfc; opacity: 0.8; margin-left: -300px; margin-top: -430px; transition: all ease 0.2s; transition-delay: 0.3s;[/newclass][newclass=.weshare]position: absolute; height: 385px; width: 257px; border-right: 20px solid #274049; background-color: #fcfcfc; opacity: 0.8; margin-left: -320px; margin-top: -455px; transition: all ease 0.2s; text-align: justify; overflow: auto; padding-left: 13px; padding-right: 10px; padding-top: 13px; line-height: 110%; font-size: 11px;[/newclass][newclass=.weforget]font-size: 11px; margin-bottom: -10px; margin-top: 2px;[/newclass][newclass=.weforget a]font-size: 11px; color: #fcfcfc; font-family: 'Arial', sans-serif; text-decoration: none; text-transform: lowercase;[/newclass][newclass=.tonight:hover .mightregret]transition: all ease 0.2s; margin-left: 0px;[/newclass][newclass=.tonight:hover .mightregret1]transition: all ease 0.2s; transition-delay: 0.3s; margin-left: 0px;[/newclass][newclass=.tonight:hover .mightregret2]transition: all ease 0.2s; transition-delay: 0.6s; margin-left: 0px;[/newclass][newclass=.tonight:hover .weshare]transition: all ease 0.5s; transition-delay: 0.9s; margin-left: 0px;[/newclass][newclass=.weshare::-webkit-scrollbar]width: 9px; background-color: #274049; border:none;[/newclass][newclass=.weshare::-webkit-scrollbar-thumb]background-color: #274049; border-size: 5px 4px 5px 2px; border-style: solid; border-color: #fcfcfc;[/newclass][newclass=.weshare::-webkit-scrollbar-track]background-color: #fcfcfc;[/newclass][googlefont=Raleway] |
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Post by aegis on May 30, 2016 9:22:07 GMT
He is tired down to his bones. There's a smudge of dirt high on his right cheek, and when he tries to rub it away it only smears further. Work down at the docks was demeaning and grueling for abysmal pay, and there's going to be nothing to eat when he gets back if he wants Anna to have a real dinner. He's still whistling when he comes through the door anyway, because even if the apartment is shit and there's no food and work is grinding away his bones to dust, Anna is home, and that makes all the difference. He shuts the door quietly behind him and shrugs off his worn coat, tossing it over a chair. Ezra smiles brightly at her. He wants to lean forward and tuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear. He leans against the doorframe instead, yawning before he speaks. "How was your day?"fidelia |
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Post by fidelia on Jun 23, 2016 5:11:48 GMT
[attr=class,tonight] [attr=class,imlost] [attr=class,wecare] never coming back [attr=class,mightregret] [attr=class,mightregret1] [attr=class,mightregret2] [attr=class,weshare] her head jolts up when she hears ezra come in, heart thumping in her throat, and she knows the smile she gives him is a bit too wobbly to match the bright one that shines down on her from his face but she can’t help it. the way he sprawls against the door, the tiny noises he makes when he yawns, the dirt he’s somehow managed to get smeared all over his cheek all make her chest hurt with something that’s in-between guilt and longing, but mostly she’s just as glad to see him as she always is. if there’s one thing that ezra has always, always been able to do for her, it’s make her feel like everything’s going to be all right. “fine,” she replies. it feels almost like lying, but it’s not, quite, so she just glances surreptitiously at the file looming on the other end of the table and then back to ezra as quick as she can manage. “better than yours, i bet. come on, sit down. let me get you a drink.”she stands abruptly, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear, and resists the urge to wipe at the dirt on his face as she gently shoves him towards a chair on her way to the kitchen cabinet to get a glass and the half-empty bottle of the good whiskey they’d been given as a housewarming gift. it isn’t the kind of stuff they could afford to get drunk on, but tonight isn’t the night for getting drunk anyway. at least not yet. she pours ezra a drink wordlessly, her hands only shaking a little, then pours one for herself too after a half-second of hesitation. crossing the floor again, she presses his into his hands with easy familiarity, then sinks back into her seat, her fingers drumming nervously on her glass. she tries to smile at him again, but worries it only comes out sickly, so she knocks back a sip of whiskey instead, distracting herself with swallowing past the burn of it. “anything interesting down at the docks today?” °r [newclass=.tonight]height: 400px; width: 300px; overflow: hidden; margin-top: 15px; colour: #252525; position: relative; font-family: 'Arial', sans-serif;[/newclass][newclass=.imlost]height: 400px; width: 300px; background-image: url('http://i.imgur.com/ivtMsiY.png');[/newclass][newclass=.wecare]height: 200px; width: 275px; border: 2px solid #fcfcfc; padding-top: 173px; font-weight: 800; font-family: 'Raleway', sans-serif; text-align: center; font-size: 26px; line-height: 110%; color: #d9d9d9; margin-top: 12px; position: absolute; margin-left: 10px;[/newclass][newclass=.mightregret]position: absolute; height: 410px; width: 280px; border-right: 20px solid #C1DADC; background-color: #fcfcfc; opacity: 0.6; margin-left: -300px; margin-top: -430px; transition: all ease 0.2s; transition-delay: 0.9s;[/newclass][newclass=.mightregret1]height: 410px; position: absolute; width: 280px; border-right: 20px solid #44677c; background-color: #fcfcfc; opacity: 0.7; margin-left: -300px; margin-top: -430px; transition: all ease 0.2s; transition-delay: 0.6s;[/newclass][newclass=.mightregret2]position: absolute; height: 410px; width: 280px; border-right: 20px solid #005183; background-color: #fcfcfc; opacity: 0.8; margin-left: -300px; margin-top: -430px; transition: all ease 0.2s; transition-delay: 0.3s;[/newclass][newclass=.weshare]position: absolute; height: 385px; width: 257px; border-right: 20px solid #274049; background-color: #fcfcfc; opacity: 0.8; margin-left: -320px; margin-top: -455px; transition: all ease 0.2s; text-align: justify; overflow: auto; padding-left: 13px; padding-right: 10px; padding-top: 13px; line-height: 110%; font-size: 11px; color: #274049;[/newclass][newclass=.weforget]font-size: 11px; margin-bottom: -10px; margin-top: 2px;[/newclass][newclass=.weforget a]font-size: 11px; color: #fcfcfc; font-family: 'Arial', sans-serif; text-decoration: none; text-transform: lowercase;[/newclass][newclass=.tonight:hover .mightregret]transition: all ease 0.2s; margin-left: 0px;[/newclass][newclass=.tonight:hover .mightregret1]transition: all ease 0.2s; transition-delay: 0.3s; margin-left: 0px;[/newclass][newclass=.tonight:hover .mightregret2]transition: all ease 0.2s; transition-delay: 0.6s; margin-left: 0px;[/newclass][newclass=.tonight:hover .weshare]transition: all ease 0.5s; transition-delay: 0.9s; margin-left: 0px;[/newclass][newclass=.weshare::-webkit-scrollbar]width: 9px; background-color: #274049; border:none;[/newclass][newclass=.weshare::-webkit-scrollbar-thumb]background-color: #274049; border-size: 5px 4px 5px 2px; border-style: solid; border-color: #fcfcfc;[/newclass][newclass=.weshare::-webkit-scrollbar-track]background-color: #fcfcfc;[/newclass][googlefont=Raleway] |
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Post by aegis on Jun 23, 2016 7:02:32 GMT
Ezra watches Anna with a perceptiveness that's born of familiarity and a love that's bone-deep, that comes as easily and naturally as breathing. In the same way that he breathes he is only aware of it sometimes, and in those moments it seems all-encompassing, impossible that it could govern him so wholly. Most of the time though, he doesn't think about it. He lives. He works. He loves Anna without awareness or expectation, and in that same way he knows her. So he sees the furtive glance, the shaking hand, the nervous fingers drumming against her glass. But he doesn't put it together. How could he? Anna, the war; these things are as diametrically opposed in his mind as light and dark. Anna in the mud, Anna in a swarm of bullets, Anna hurt, Anna-- Ezra takes a swallow of his whiskey, enjoys the harsh burn of it down his throat. "No," he says, feeling off-kilter, thrown off balance by what he's noticed and what he can't yet see. "Johnson enlisted though. Says his girl wasn't happy about it, but he thinks it's the right thing to do."fidelia |
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Post by fidelia on Jul 23, 2016 6:08:14 GMT
[attr=class,tonight] [attr=class,imlost] [attr=class,wecare] never coming back [attr=class,mightregret] [attr=class,mightregret1] [attr=class,mightregret2] [attr=class,weshare] she has to choke down a half-hysterical laugh and takes a hasty sip of her whiskey instead. god, isn’t that perfectly fitting. she can’t exactly segue into “speaking of which…” now, either, and yet the longer she waits, the longer she draws this out, the more she knows it’s going to snap back and hurt both of them in the end. not that it won’t hurt enough already. better to just get it over with, right? rip the bandage off. she swallows hard. “ezra,” she starts, then reconsiders, then reconsiders again. no. she has to do this. “you know they… they need nurses on the front.” her breath rattles in her chest. she’s so close, she’s almost there. she’s just inches away from taking this stupid, perfect bubble they’ve been living in, the two of them in this shitty apartment together, in each other’s space -- sharing a bed, for god’s sake, as though having him just inches from her all night doesn’t still make her heart beat like lightening in her chest -- she’s so close to ruining all of it, but she can’t let herself turn back. she has to do this. “you know my mother was a nurse,” she manages, her voice wavering but mostly steady. “and i… i…” oh, god, she can’t. she squeezes her eyes shut, her fingers trembling on the glass she still clutches in her hand. she can’t do this to him. she can’t do this to herself. °r [newclass=.tonight]height: 400px; width: 300px; overflow: hidden; margin-top: 15px; colour: #252525; position: relative; font-family: 'Arial', sans-serif;[/newclass][newclass=.imlost]height: 400px; width: 300px; background-image: url('http://i.imgur.com/ivtMsiY.png');[/newclass][newclass=.wecare]height: 200px; width: 275px; border: 2px solid #fcfcfc; padding-top: 173px; font-weight: 800; font-family: 'Raleway', sans-serif; text-align: center; font-size: 26px; line-height: 110%; color: #d9d9d9; margin-top: 12px; position: absolute; margin-left: 10px;[/newclass][newclass=.mightregret]position: absolute; height: 410px; width: 280px; border-right: 20px solid #C1DADC; background-color: #fcfcfc; opacity: 0.6; margin-left: -300px; margin-top: -430px; transition: all ease 0.2s; transition-delay: 0.9s;[/newclass][newclass=.mightregret1]height: 410px; position: absolute; width: 280px; border-right: 20px solid #44677c; background-color: #fcfcfc; opacity: 0.7; margin-left: -300px; margin-top: -430px; transition: all ease 0.2s; transition-delay: 0.6s;[/newclass][newclass=.mightregret2]position: absolute; height: 410px; width: 280px; border-right: 20px solid #005183; background-color: #fcfcfc; opacity: 0.8; margin-left: -300px; margin-top: -430px; transition: all ease 0.2s; transition-delay: 0.3s;[/newclass][newclass=.weshare]position: absolute; height: 385px; width: 257px; border-right: 20px solid #274049; background-color: #fcfcfc; opacity: 0.8; margin-left: -320px; margin-top: -455px; transition: all ease 0.2s; text-align: justify; overflow: auto; padding-left: 13px; padding-right: 10px; padding-top: 13px; line-height: 110%; font-size: 11px; color: #274049;[/newclass][newclass=.weforget]font-size: 11px; margin-bottom: -10px; margin-top: 2px;[/newclass][newclass=.weforget a]font-size: 11px; color: #fcfcfc; font-family: 'Arial', sans-serif; text-decoration: none; text-transform: lowercase;[/newclass][newclass=.tonight:hover .mightregret]transition: all ease 0.2s; margin-left: 0px;[/newclass][newclass=.tonight:hover .mightregret1]transition: all ease 0.2s; transition-delay: 0.3s; margin-left: 0px;[/newclass][newclass=.tonight:hover .mightregret2]transition: all ease 0.2s; transition-delay: 0.6s; margin-left: 0px;[/newclass][newclass=.tonight:hover .weshare]transition: all ease 0.5s; transition-delay: 0.9s; margin-left: 0px;[/newclass][newclass=.weshare::-webkit-scrollbar]width: 9px; background-color: #274049; border:none;[/newclass][newclass=.weshare::-webkit-scrollbar-thumb]background-color: #274049; border-size: 5px 4px 5px 2px; border-style: solid; border-color: #fcfcfc;[/newclass][newclass=.weshare::-webkit-scrollbar-track]background-color: #fcfcfc;[/newclass][googlefont=Raleway] |
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Jul 24, 2016 21:51:02 GMT
Post by aegis on Jul 24, 2016 21:51:02 GMT
The world doesn't stop as much as rearrange itself into a new shape. This was his life before Anna spoke--this is his life after. Ezra reaches out to put a hand over hers, still wrapped around the glass. His hands are cold. He hopes that doesn't bother her. He feels distant, disconnected from his own body, swimming through his thoughts like they belong to someone else as he struggles to parse what's happening. "You're going to enlist," he says, and then thinks, and then reconsiders. "You have enlisted."
God, he's not going to--he's not going to insult her and ask if she's thought about it, Anna, do you know what you're doing, because she's Anna--she knows. But he's scared, suddenly, a frost that reaches down to his bones and he looks inside of himself for something to burn, some kind of flame to ward off the chill and there's nothing, there's nothing. fidelia |
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Jul 25, 2016 11:07:41 GMT
Post by fidelia on Jul 25, 2016 11:07:41 GMT
[attr=class,tonight] [attr=class,imlost] [attr=class,wecare] never coming back [attr=class,mightregret] [attr=class,mightregret1] [attr=class,mightregret2] [attr=class,weshare] his hand wrapping around hers, cold and calloused but so gentle, almost does her in before he even speaks. she can’t look at him; her eyes are squeezed shut tight. she knew this would be difficult, of course. she was never stupid enough to think that he would just smile and send her on her way and tell her thank you for serving our country, as though it didn’t matter that doing that meant leaving him behind. and she was certainly never blind enough not to see that it would kill her, too, just a little bit, that doing something she knew was right and she knew was for the good of others and she knew might help save lives also meant doing something that cut the little bit of light she’s been hanging onto all this time, the only bright thing that’s managed to survive through all the other hardships, and cutting it out of herself. it’s messy and it’s bloody and ezra’s voice sounds sickeningly hollow. part of her wants to explain herself, part of her knows he already understands, as much as it’s possible for him to understand. still. some base instinct tells her she has to try. he deserves at least that. “i can do good,” she says very quietly, because ‘very quietly’ is the only mode in which she thinks she has at least some chance of keeping her voice steady. ”there are so many people who can’t go, or won’t. i can. i can do real good.”
saying it’s her duty sounds too cold and sterile. saying she’s called to serve is far too spiritual. all she can do is slowly, steadily, set her glass down on the table and lace her fingers loosely with his, until she feels grounded enough to look him in the face and say, “i’m sorry, ezra.”
°r [newclass=.tonight]height: 400px; width: 300px; overflow: hidden; margin-top: 15px; colour: #252525; position: relative; font-family: 'Arial', sans-serif;[/newclass][newclass=.imlost]height: 400px; width: 300px; background-image: url('http://i.imgur.com/ivtMsiY.png');[/newclass][newclass=.wecare]height: 200px; width: 275px; border: 2px solid #fcfcfc; padding-top: 173px; font-weight: 800; font-family: 'Raleway', sans-serif; text-align: center; font-size: 26px; line-height: 110%; color: #d9d9d9; margin-top: 12px; position: absolute; margin-left: 10px;[/newclass][newclass=.mightregret]position: absolute; height: 410px; width: 280px; border-right: 20px solid #C1DADC; background-color: #fcfcfc; opacity: 0.6; margin-left: -300px; margin-top: -430px; transition: all ease 0.2s; transition-delay: 0.9s;[/newclass][newclass=.mightregret1]height: 410px; position: absolute; width: 280px; border-right: 20px solid #44677c; background-color: #fcfcfc; opacity: 0.7; margin-left: -300px; margin-top: -430px; transition: all ease 0.2s; transition-delay: 0.6s;[/newclass][newclass=.mightregret2]position: absolute; height: 410px; width: 280px; border-right: 20px solid #005183; background-color: #fcfcfc; opacity: 0.8; margin-left: -300px; margin-top: -430px; transition: all ease 0.2s; transition-delay: 0.3s;[/newclass][newclass=.weshare]position: absolute; height: 385px; width: 257px; border-right: 20px solid #274049; background-color: #fcfcfc; opacity: 0.8; margin-left: -320px; margin-top: -455px; transition: all ease 0.2s; text-align: justify; overflow: auto; padding-left: 13px; padding-right: 10px; padding-top: 13px; line-height: 110%; font-size: 11px; color: #274049;[/newclass][newclass=.weforget]font-size: 11px; margin-bottom: -10px; margin-top: 2px;[/newclass][newclass=.weforget a]font-size: 11px; color: #fcfcfc; font-family: 'Arial', sans-serif; text-decoration: none; text-transform: lowercase;[/newclass][newclass=.tonight:hover .mightregret]transition: all ease 0.2s; margin-left: 0px;[/newclass][newclass=.tonight:hover .mightregret1]transition: all ease 0.2s; transition-delay: 0.3s; margin-left: 0px;[/newclass][newclass=.tonight:hover .mightregret2]transition: all ease 0.2s; transition-delay: 0.6s; margin-left: 0px;[/newclass][newclass=.tonight:hover .weshare]transition: all ease 0.5s; transition-delay: 0.9s; margin-left: 0px;[/newclass][newclass=.weshare::-webkit-scrollbar]width: 9px; background-color: #274049; border:none;[/newclass][newclass=.weshare::-webkit-scrollbar-thumb]background-color: #274049; border-size: 5px 4px 5px 2px; border-style: solid; border-color: #fcfcfc;[/newclass][newclass=.weshare::-webkit-scrollbar-track]background-color: #fcfcfc;[/newclass][googlefont=Raleway] |
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Post by aegis on Aug 5, 2016 7:56:13 GMT
"You don't have to apologize to me," he says fiercely, "Not ever." And he means it, even as he's sorry, as the undeniable weight of what he has to do sinks in. There are things in this world that are unendurable, and Anna going to war is one of them. Letting her go alone is beyond the scope of human belief. Ezra squeezes her hand once, gently, and tries to push past the cold in his lungs to speak. "I won't let you go by yourself," he says. "I know we probably won't--but I won't stay here if you're going."fidelia |
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